Oh, hell yeah

AVENUE Q is coming to the valley this month!

Only thing is that tickets cost some $$$$$$$$$ and I just don't know if I'd be able to see Avenue Q without John Tartaglia...

But still, I just might go.

RENT - Thank you, Jonathan Larson

OK, it's no secret to anyone that pays attention that I love RENT. I love it. I love the music, I love the minimalist approach it takes in its use of props and sets, I love the grittiness, I love the boldness, I love the honesty. And though I never got the chance to see it live (which I hopefully will someday, if ever there's a revival), I consider myself somewhat of a huge fan of the show.

However, I've found that one thing that I love the most is the backstory. Jonathan Larson lived the life he portrayed in RENT. Dirt broke, hungry, and surrounded by loss, yet he sacrificed comfort for the sake of his music. His everything was given to writing RENT, a project he was so passionate about that he would literally die seeing come to pass.

He poured his heart and soul (cliche, I know) into making this show a reality. Most every element of the show was based on something from his own experiences.

And though success happened for him, he died of an aortic dissection the night before RENT would open.

I guess what I find so admirable is the determination. I honestly don't know if I could say that I would give up basic comforts in life for the sake of art. I can't say that I would break my back for something that didn't necessarily carry any promises. I'd like to think I would, but I can't say in all honesty that I could.

And though many dislike what RENT offers (and I won't lie and say there aren't ANY flaws), this musical changed people's lives. In the end, if art is a form of communication, then this show completely and utterly succeeded. It changed the way people looked at Broadway, and moved people so deeply that they revisited the show over and over again. There's an entire wall backstage of the theater where the show ran for so many years that attests to the power of this show, and the lasting affect it made on people who saw it.

It's a show that dealt with life and the human spirit. It portrayed the honor and beauty of living a life of happiness, despite knowing that at any moment your body could betray you. It completely and beautifully captures the conditions of the time during AIDS epidemic. The fear, the sadness, the hopelessness. Yet instead of letting the characters suffer needlessly, Larson fuels the story with hope. With the idea that a life truly worth living is a life of happiness, in spite of anything else. No matter if your broke and living in the loft of an old warehouse. No matter if the person you love could die any day. No matter if you're looked down upon by the rest of society as undesirable. There's no day but today.

It's not a story about people with AIDS learning to love each other, as I once heard someone so ignorantly put it. It's a story about resilience in the face of adversity, the beauty of diversity, and the true healing power of love.

So again, thank you, Jonathan Larson.

OH MY GOD, IT'S KATE WINSLET'S BOOBIES!

So, I'm thinking that Kate Winslet just really likes to be naked. Because in pretty much every film I've seen her in (Finding Neverland and Eternal Sunshine aside), you've seen her without a shirt on at least once.

I was watching Little Children today -which is a film that could have really used a new editor and a dash of subtlety- and yet again there's Kate Winslet's breasts. Now, I honestly have no problem with nudity at all, and find that it can enhance a scene if used properly, but I wonder if it's really necessary for an actress to take her top off in every movie she's in? I mean, it's good that she's comfortable with her body, but does she need to do this just to prove that she's a bold actress? We know this already, she's proven so.

Whatever.

Moulin Rouge

So a lot of people I knew talked about this movie a lot. So I finally watched it. And I wasn't super impressed. I mean, it's ok, but it's really all over the place and annoyingly so. The first twenty minutes of the movie is some shitty stuff. The movie starts to become tolerable once Ewan McGregor sings 'Your Song' so beautifully. And only then does it maintain slightly above mediocre status.

I mean, it's kinda good looking, but nothing all THAT special. It's just a lot of artificial colors and passable, yet bland, camera work. Nicole Kidman, who I generally like, is super annoying. Plus, I thought her singing voice was mostly so-so. McGregor totally owns her there.

The final act is also generally unexciting and predictable with some soupy sentimentality thrown in there and a fantastically cliche owning of the villain.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it for the most part, but it's really just an average musical that's far more focused on spectacle than anything else. And that spectacle is really distracting and obnoxious.

Oh, and I'ma be 20 tomorrow. Holy shit....

Defying Gravity

Don't hate me for loving high male voices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-Cf8_f9g30



Oh, and The Crazies was actually a really enjoyable film. Not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, and all of the jump scenes got really old after awhile. However, it's got two or three well-drawn characters that you can empathize with, surprisingly good camera work, awesome gore, and a wonderul "fuck you" kind of ending. Definitely a good entry into the genre. Worth seeing.

THE END, BITCHES!

I have some very startling, very radical—some might say hopeless—insights into Mr. Ben Affleck's latest communications. Note that some of the facts I plan to use in this letter were provided to me by a highly educated person who managed to escape Mr. Affleck's deceitful, fickle indoctrination and is consequently believable. Mr. Affleck's dissertations are a blatantly obvious and cleverly orchestrated script, carefully concocted to make a cause célèbre out of Mr. Affleck's campaign to develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence his opponents. But I digress. Some of my acquaintances express the view that my message has always been that his worshippers are a bunch of misguided individuals parroting one another and unwittingly serving ends they would never intentionally promote. Others express the view that Mr. Affleck has completely stepped off the deep end. I am prepared to offer a cheer and a half for each view; together, they paint a sufficiently complete picture of Mr. Affleck to warrant a full three cheers.

To tell you the truth, I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Mr. Affleck's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. Unlike everyone else in the world, Mr. Affleck seriously believes that he can scare us by using big words like "pancreaticoduodenostomy". Woo woooo! Here comes the clue train. Last stop: Mr. Affleck.

Mr. Affleck has had some success in forcing me to leave the country. I find that horrifying and frightening but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that honest people will admit that Mr. Affleck is the root of all evil. Concerned people are not afraid to direct our efforts toward clearly defined goals and measure progress toward those goals as frequently and as objectively as possible. And sensible people know that Mr. Affleck has stated that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that factionalism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. That's just pure irrationalism. Well, in Mr. Affleck's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that Mr. Affleck had the same intellectual honesty. I have now said everything there is to say. So, to summarize it all, Mr. Ben Affleck is incapable of looking with an open mind at anything that doesn't strictly endorse his views.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

Shutter Island (Martin Scorsese, 2010)

I'd been anticipating Shutter Island for about eight months before I finally sat in the theater to watch it. I first had the trailer dangled in front of me back in September of 2009 during the previews for Public Enemies. I was completely blown away by the trailer, and loved the idea of watching a sort of horror film from Martin Scorsese (who is probably one of my favorite American directors).

However, even though the film was due for an October 2009 release, the studio felt it wasn't strong enough of a contender for the Oscars, so they pushed it back to February of 2010. I was upset, but I waited patiently to see it. When February rolled around, I went to see it the Saturday after the release, then again on the following day. The two experiences differed greatly. During my first viewing, despite having had the film's plot twist spoiled for me, I was completely and utterly confused. The film threw me for more than one loop. And I was even shocked during the big reveal, as there are so many layers to the story.

My second viewing was an even richer experience, and cemented my opinion of this being a marvelous piece of work. The story is structured perfectly, each act building on the last, creating more and more tension. When the final act comes, and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, Scorsese slowly releases the pressure, with a climax that is both beautiful and tragic all at once.

Visually, there isn't a flaw in this film. The atmosphere, mood, and tone are set so beautifully by the imagery. The lighting is eerie, harsh at times, yet soft and delicate at others. The final flashback scene is shot so bluntly, adding to the heartbreak of what's happening on screen.

Now, do not be deceived by this film's marketing. This is not very much a horror film. Yes, it takes cues from horrors of old, but it's so much more than that. It's a tragedy, hidden under the mysteries of the film. The eeriness and unsettling atmosphere serve the film's protagonist in his journey towards the truth, and the understanding of exactly what he has to do in the end.

DiCaprio is fantastic in the lead role, capturing perfectly the paranoia and edge of his character. A second viewing definitely reveals just how complex his performance is.

At the end of the day, I can't find many flaws with this film. It's a great example of how a story can be told in a way that's entertaining, while still retaining a subtlety that most films near to this genre don't even have a slight grip on.

I highly recommend this film not just once, but twice. It's a film that deserves to be seen more than once.

Random Stream of Thought Thing I Wrote on Facebook

Who wants to eat cake with me?

No one? Oh, ok that figures. so, fuck people. they come into your life, shit on your carpet, then steal your can of Dr. Pepper on the way out. It's tiring. I sit there and think, "Oh, man, I really wanted to drink that Dr. Pepper, but that asshole just stole it. what a douchebag." I've had too many cans of Dr. Pepper stolen in my lifetime, and I swear, the next person who takes my can of Dr. Pepper is in for a grade A ass kicking.

Then you've got all these bitches coming around saying, "PLEASE! TELL ME HOW TO DRINK MY CAN OF COKE! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DRINK THIS COKE!" so you try to explain to them how to do it, but then they decide that they don't want to do it that way. They just wanna keep trying to open it from the bottom, when that's completely impossible.

Then you try and tell your parents that you don't like Coke. You like Dr. Pepper. Then they're all like, "OH, but we don't want you to drink Dr. Pepper. We want you to drink Coke!" but drinking Coke doesn't make me happy. Dr. Pepper makes me happy, right? So I want to drink Dr. Pepper. but then they say they don't want you drinking Dr. Pepper in their house, or bringing Dr. Pepper around, or indulging in a glass of Dr. Pepper when you're out. So when the hell am I gonna get to drink Dr. Pepper?

Then you decide that you don't want keep trying to drink from the crazy straw anymore. But everyone around you is drinking from the crazy straw, and some people are taking HUGE gulps from the crazy straw. But you try to explain to people that the crazy straw ain't for you anymore, you wanna drink from the regular straw and just enjoy your drink. Who cares about what straw you're drinking from?!


Life's a bitch, then you die before you can finish your Dr. Pepper.

Religion. I don't think I can name any other thing that's made my life more miserable than religion. Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I was force fed religion for my entire childhood. I accepted God when I was merely six, not even nearly old enough to understand what kind of choice I was making. My decision was based on a fear of the eternal fires of Hell. My desire to not go there was so strong that I accepted something so quickly, so naively; a decision that would basically ruin many of the years that would follow.

There comes a point in everyone's life where they step outside of themselves and begin to evaluate the life they're leading. When I was a teenager, I started to think about things in a way that didn't seem to line up with what I'd grown up thinking. Though my thought processes are dreamlike and idealistic, it's balanced with a sense of realism and common sense. As I struggled to come to terms with this, religion just didn't seem to add up in my mind.

However, my surroundings didn't encourage a new way of thinking. Still heavily involved in the church, I was a part of a group of people that threw me for a loop. A group of people with typical teenage problems: identity, lack of control over emotions, the struggle with one's place in this world. What seemed to set me apart from them was that, while we were all desiring to experience God in a real way and to hear from Him, they clung harder to religion as they struggled, while I gradually began to push it away.

I was always told that if you weren't experiencing God, it's because you didn't actually want to. I call bullshit on this, because I wanted it. Oh man did I want it. I wanted to experience God, I wanted the assurance of a wonderful place to go after death, away from all pain and emptiness. I wanted a relationship with a higher power that would fulfill all the needs that other humans weren't meeting. I wanted all the answers to this life answered in the pages of an ancient text. As much as I wanted this, I never experienced this, never saw it in my life in a tangible way, and my questions weren't being answered by this book. It merely created more questions.

Another issue I struggled with - and I don't fear to write this here, as anyone I'm concerned about knowing this about me won't ever see this post- was my sexuality. As far back as I can recall, I've felt different feelings from the other people around me. I wasn't attracted to females. However, having been taught to believe this wasn't right, I struggled to reconcile these feelings with my worldview. I wanted to be rid of it, to be normal. I tried to ignore it, I tried desperately to pray it away, I even confided in someone who I thought could help me, and despite much effort, nothing changed.

This is when I knew that the process of abandoning my faith would begin. And it was a long, painful process. I tried to justify things, to line things up with my belief in God. It never worked.

As I've grown, and come to love and accept myself, I've found that the last thing I need in my life is the religion which caused me so much hurt and anger.

I just cannot, in any way, accept God as an undeniable fact when this world is so completely shitty. The idea that a being so powerful and loving would create man, knowing that he would, in the end, not choose Him. A being that's so loving that He would wipe out thousands of people for turning away from Him, when He was the one who gave them the choice. The state of this world makes it impossible for me to accept God, because this place is so miserable that I can't believe a God would sit in heaven and do absolutely nothing.

I just can't do it anymore.

Now, I have nothing against people who have faith. If it truly edifies their lives, and allows them to come to terms with their mortality, then that's great! Truly. The people I do have a problem with, are the people who feel as though their religion entitles them to dictate to other people how they should be living their lives. What they should and shouldn't be doing. I can't stand that because what makes a person so arrogant to believe that it's their place to do this? And even if their not vocal about it, silently judging a person is just as terrible. Just live your own damn life, and don't worry about what other people are doing.

And to this philosophy, I will live my own life. Live and let live. Though religion may not be for me, I can accept that it works for others.

And, if I'm being perfectly honest, I feel more liberated now having given up faith then I ever felt while calling myself a Christian. I suppose it's all about perspective.